I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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