And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
My penis needs a shock collar
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
