maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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