I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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