It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
