I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Randomize
