She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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