i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
