I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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