I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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