You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
