is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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