i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
