i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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