Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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