i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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