you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
