just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
