I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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