you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
