why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
