there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
FUCK WHALES
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize