i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
