New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
