we have pet lesbian snakes
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
