Three words: puerto rican gang bang
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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