Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
