so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
