the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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