So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize