After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
This house was built for laser tag.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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