someone get that fucking seahorse.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
