It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
