Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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