so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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