I'm going to jail i love you
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
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