Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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