highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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