awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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