its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
