Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
