Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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