So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Fuck appropriateness.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
