They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i just google imaged poop.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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