I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
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