It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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