wanna go halves on a baby?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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