Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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