Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
