I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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