This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
