Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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