she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
