hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Randomize
