remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
