She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
