Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
