Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
