What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
