I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
